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Monday, November 4, 2013

Strictly Siren: Rachel Riley booted out

Luscious Countdown cutie Rachel Riley was unfairly voted into the dance off on Strictly Come Dancing last night despite receiving her highest score.  She had no chance of being saved by the judges when up against the peerless Abbey Clancy (who also should not have been in the bottom two either but probably was included due to a magnificent display of her taut abdomen which would have had all the fat women in prawn coloured velour tracksuits at home hissing into their high fat microwave curries).

To be honest we only had vague knowledge of Miss Riley as the somewhat controversial successor to the slightly creepy Carol Vorderman as the hostess of the words and numbers game show.

The same prawn coloured velour tracksuit wearing women thought Miss Riley had just been hired on her looks (on television, surely not?) and didn't approve of her very small dresses when she took over the role in 2009.

Anyway, Agent Triple P was impressed by Ms Riley's fine form and no doubt the dance training helped to tone her already impressive rear and thighs.

In fact, her behind was the best of any of the women celebrities in this year's competition and was better than some of the professional dancer's as well.

Still only 27 (she shares a birthday with Agent Triple P) Ms Riley is from Essex but got a maths degree from Oriel College Oxford so isn't just a pretty bottom.  She got the job in 2008 at the age of 22, beating off 1000 other candidates, almost immediately after graduating from Oxford. 

When Triple P was at Oxford, Oriel was a male only college full of hefty rowers and, the legend goes, that when they were forced to go mixed the college recruited a lot of really tiny girls who would make excellent rowing coxes.

We are disappointed that she didn't go further in the competition but coming from a non performance or modelling background she was always going to struggle with projecting her personality on the dance floor.

Sadly, these fine projections weren't enough to garner her enough votes to stay in.


  1. Lovely girl. She seems strangely oblivious to her glamour, claiming on strictly that she couldn't 'do sexy' despite that deliciously curvy bottom being a major distraction for gentlemen attempting the conundrum.

  2. Indeed a woman with little appreciation of her effect is always enticing!

  3. I get a lob on just looking at her gorgeous legs